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Blog / News
Nothing To Worry About
October 14, 2020
During the day, it was easy to distract myself. But then the nighttime came, and the bad thoughts that hid behind the furniture crept in. They were always there. But it wasn’t so easy to ignore them at night. “It’s probably nothing to be concerned about,” I kept telling myself. Indeed, I’d find this to
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Make A Noise
October 6, 2020
In the six and a half years I’ve been an Astoria resident, I’ve had little to no interactions with my neighbors. It is a rule of mine that you want your neighbors to think you’re just weird enough that they don’t want to befriend you, but not too weird that they are suspicious of you.
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A Girl And Her Droid
October 1, 2020
I hadn’t realized we had been together almost nine years. This is almost as long as I’ve been doing comedy. We were together even longer than my first vehicle (oh, Bessy Lou! How I miss you too!). I didn’t realize that the former blog would be the last blog I’d write on that machine. Though
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The Amazing Emily
September 24, 2020
Emily George, at 91 years old, contracted COVID-19 in September 2020, after mostly being locked down in an assisted living home in Florida since March 2020. But that’s not so strange, given the circumstances. What is strange, and somewhat miraculous, is she didn’t come down with a single symptom. Emily George, mother of six children,
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15 Things.
September 14, 2020
15 Things. This was recommended to a friend of mine through their therapist that instructed them to make a list of 15 qualities they would want their partner to have in a perfect world. I don’t know where the number 15 came from nor did I ever ask why, but I never myself wrote out
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BOOBS
September 10, 2020
This one may make my whole family seem like creeps but as the 2020 slogan seems to go, “it is what it is.” Back when I was in 6th grade, my family did our first trip out of the country to the Dominican Republic with our neighbors, the Winters. We had many fun years with
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My Sweet Summer
September 4, 2020
With a career disappeared overnight, nothing to accomplish, nowhere to go, there were two things to do over the summer: beach and party. The present was grim back in the Spring, and the future had the potential of being even more bleak. So, fuck it, I decided. Every chance I get, I’ll head to the
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It’s Thursday
August 27, 2020
It’s 4:30 in the morning and I’m wide awake. Not surprising, at least not to me. I was so tired last night, so tired I fell asleep before eight, without the help of a little pill or a little laced chocolate or a little hit of anything. Just pure, sober, exhaustion. Sick? No. I think
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A Letter From Sexy Underwear
August 18, 2020
Dear Lori, Wow. It’s been sometime. I’ve fallen to the bottom or your underwear and bra drawer, in your shitty Ikea dresser that you said was a temporary dresser some six years ago. Have you forgotten what I look like? Or how cute your little non-existent butt looks like in a see through lace?
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Tell Tale Fart
August 14, 2020
I was very nervous. I don’t know what made me do it. It was the man’s eye. When my mother and I walked into the store, the man that greeted us had a terrible eye that was a yellowish-white. And he wasn’t friendly. Not friendly at all. Most times, when you walk into a store,
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