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A Long Trip To Somewhere
May 24, 2025
There is always a line at Starbucks in the airport, which I never really fully understand. I mean, I’m a tea drinker anyway, but I never want to be caffeinated on the airplane. In fact, I want to be so subdued, that if the plane went down, I would only know post crash. And it’s
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Single. Dollar. Bills.
May 21, 2025
In the backyard at a long time friend’s house, I crack a beer. It’s a beautiful day. The sun shines on the now blossomed trees. My brother arrives with my nephew, Blaise. Blaise runs up to me with a wad of singles, throws them at me and yells, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU HAMSTER” before giving me
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Conversations With Boyfriends Past
May 9, 2025
“What’s it like?” “What’s what like?” “Being beautiful. Does it hurt?” “I don’t really think about it. Honestly.” “I’d just stare in the mirror all day long if I was beautiful.” “Gross. I mostly avoid mirrors. You wanna smoke a little weed?” “Do you need to be high to enjoy my company?” “I need to
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Sad Violin
May 4, 2025
A string trio plays in a mostly empty room, save for an elderly couple and an even more elderly pair of women, plus a bartender in the back. There’s a lovely display of untouched food the bartender stares at with longing. It goes on like this for almost an hour. It’s not a full bar,
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Uber Princess
April 28, 2025
After doing my taxes (to be fair, I just put together receipts and my sister does my actual taxes), I really tally up where all my money is going and it’s no wonder I’m perpetually broke. Nothing is really more shocking to me than the fact that last year (2024) I spent $4000 on Ubers.
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Don’t Pass Me By
April 21, 2025
I’m unsure if people in other states do this, but as a lifelong New Yorker, I can attest to the fact that almost everyone here thinks Spring used to exist, but doesn’t anymore. The collective mindset of New Yorkers is that there are only three seasons. That New York goes from a long and brutal
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Bad Habits
April 15, 2025
The week ends. The week begins. Your phone, which is your most loyal companion and the demon on your shoulder, tells you how much time you spent looking at your phone last week. It’s disgusting. You’re disgusted with yourself. You wonder what you could have accomplished putting that time into ANYTHING else. And yet. You
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Independent Women & Wishing Wells
April 8, 2025
The live action “Snow White” flopped harder than a chubby kid belly flopping to impress a girl at a community pool. No, I haven’t seen it. But I have laughed and laughed and laughed at the savage reviews of the film and Rachel Zegler, that even I think are cruel, even if it deserves the
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Old Man Look At My Life
March 31, 2025
“I remember the day we were born. Nancy cried like a baby,” my dad tells this popular tale of the birth of him and his twin sister. It’s amazing how many people will ask, “you really remember the day you were born?” My mom, siblings and I will look at each other and roll our
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Tsunami
March 24, 2025
Before the giant rolling wave of a tsunami hits, the ocean will first rapidly recede unusually far from the shore– sucking up water for large and fast waves. If you ever see the ocean do this, turn and run. Run as fast as you can to high ground. I didn’t have such a warning when
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