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Conan O’Brien Audience Story
Mar 14, 2026
Distraction. Distraction. Distraction.
Mar 6, 2026
When The Body Sleeps
Mar 2, 2026
Boys Chase Girls
Feb 18, 2026
On the 7th Day, You’ll Breathe Again (Like Never Before)
Feb 14, 2026
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Escape Artist : A Short Story
January 2, 2026
All my life I loved action movies and I thought it was even a little romantic if you were gagged, tied to a chair and waiting for your beloved to save you from the bad guy, only in real life there is no one to save you, because your beloved put you here. And here
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Mouth Breather
December 29, 2025
The above picture is a scan of my face. You can sort of make it out when you notice the teeth at the bottom. That black squiggle line in the middle is my nasal passageway. It’s a cavity, meaning it’s empty space. But that passageway is supposed to be straight. My nose is medically “severely
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Better
December 17, 2025
Joan Rivers, a legend in comedy, famously said about life, “listen. I wish I could tell you it gets better. But it doesn’t get better. YOU get better.” I’m unsure that’s true. Not to say I’m accusing Joan Rivers of lying. I think there were few people as honest as Joan Rivers. But I don’t
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Space
December 9, 2025
Say what you want about Jet fans, but they know how to party. Some may even think they’re obnoxious in their delusional beer soaked hope, but even though I am not even a Jets fan, I appreciate fandom and I can applaud and even antagonize tribalism in sports, where I boo it in politics. It
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Lived in Blonde
December 1, 2025
“How old are you now?” Nick Griffin asks on a road trip to a gig. At this point, Griffin and I have history. We are kindred depressive souls on a perpetual search for jokes and stories both in and out of our heads. “Thirty six!” “Wow,” my on and off again writing partner says, not
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Guts All Over The Pavement
November 25, 2025
The dead don’t last long in the heat. A squirrel, freshly killed by a vehicle, is like McDonald’s for the hovering scavenger birds. They arrive so quickly, it’s almost as if they too have smart phones, binging them with notifications when there’s a meal nearby that you don’t have to work for. They swoop in,
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Inheriting Harry: A Comedy Sketch
November 19, 2025
“INHERITING HARRY” – A comedy sketch by Lori Palminteri FADE IN: INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY An older VERNON and PETUNIA Dursely from the Harry Potter universe sit in front of a camera, “confessional style.” Hands, with a clapper board appear for, “Inheriting Harry.” DIRECTOR (Off Camera): State your name for the camera please.
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The Cluttered Kitchen Table
November 16, 2025
My grandparents on the Palminteri side lived in the same town as us in the very same house my Dad grew up in with his five siblings. It was a modest, if not small, ranch. Our house wasn’t a big house by anyone’s measure, but it was certainly bigger than the OG Palminteri house, where,
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THEY ARE EATING EACH OTHER!
November 7, 2025
At the Bronx zoo with my four year old nephew, Blaise, and his mom, Dayna, we headed towards the “World of Darkness,” at the boy’s request. We were running out of time and weren’t going to be able to cover the whole zoo (it’s been over a decade since I’ve been, and I must say,
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I’ve Seen All Good People
November 3, 2025
“Don’t surround yourself with yourself Move on back two squares Send an instant karma to me Initial it with loving care” — from “I’ve Seen All Good People,” by Yes The above referenced song is about chess. But I’ve been thinking about that song lately. Because, for quite some years, it has seemed to me
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