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Hey Aliens… You Up?
November 7, 2023
Last year, NASA had proposed sending nudes into space… you know… for science. What a classic excuse. It was inevitably turned down, which is probably for the best. But if there’s anything we’ve learned, it’s that even the geniuses of this planet are perverts, and not just everyone in show business. Personally, I just don’t
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Swim Naked
November 2, 2023
Running on the beach is one of my favorite things to do. Back when I lived on the South Shore of Long Island, in my childhood home, where we lived closed to the Robert Moses bridge, I used to frequently run on the beach. I don’t think I was ever in better shape. Often, I
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Is There A Ghost In My House?
October 30, 2023
I have no proof. I have nothing but a weird happening. But my siblings and I all had weird occurrences in the house we grew up in. I am not saying it’s ghosts. I’m saying, it’s weird and I don’t know what it is. Kids say weird shit and they have crazy brains. So all
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The Driver. The Spider. The Pedestrian.
October 21, 2023
The driver swerved towards a pedestrian on the side of the road, before swerving away from the pedestrian. The pedestrian, went from oblivious to afraid, to angry, then finally relieved. The driver, now poorly pulled over, had the drivers door open, kicking the door. What sort of madness was going on with this young woman.
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Despite All This Malice
October 15, 2023
It’s true enough I’m no optimist. I’ve been accused of being a pessimist and a Debbie Downer by most of the people who know me best. They weren’t being unfair in their accusations. It’s not just my sense of humor that is dark. My obsessive nature frequently spirals to final outcomes, which are never happy,
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The Girl In The Casino With A Book
October 7, 2023
There’s a sense I get I’m being unfaithful when I’m sitting at a bar and ordering tea instead of booze. There’s a man at the end of the bar, observing me for longer than he should. Likely not just because for among casino clientele I’m young, nor that I’m a pretty girl, alone, but because
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My Boobs Are Down Here
September 27, 2023
All in all, I’m pretty pleased with how I’m aging. People are often shocked to find I’m in my 30s, let alone mid 30s— so for the most part my genetics/diet and exercise habits are serving me well. But alas, I am a woman so I do get horribly insecure about rather insignificant things. Here’s
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So You Want To Buy Pictures Of My Feet?
September 22, 2023
Years ago, I got a random email asking me to be a tickle model. The offer was to be paid $1000 an hour to be tickled on film. My face wouldn’t have to be shown. Initially, I thought one of my friends was doing a bit and playing a prank on me, so I went
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Sworn Common Enemy
September 13, 2023
It bothers me I now live in a country with no sense of unity, that people are quick to point fingers, lack the self awareness that sometimes you can choose to be a victim or not. Is community dead? Is it just my tribe versus your tribe? And no room for compromise? No dance floor
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Gratitude Attitude
September 11, 2023
It didn’t ruin my summer, as summer is my favorite season and I never fail to beach like Ken, surf as much as possible and spend every free moment fleeing to the ocean— but the pressure I was simply putting on myself for self producing my debut comedy album added a extra cloud of anxiety
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