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Blog / News
Drunk. Mess.
November 10, 2018
Sometime around this time last year, I got on the subway late at night after a gig. Music blasting in my headphones. To be honest, I don’t know how anyone tolerated the subway pre-headphones. One time I thought a guy was going to stab me because I told him not to play his music on
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Pirate Not Princess
November 3, 2018
It had been a month since my good friend Katrina moved to my neighborhood and we’d yet to really hang out and still I haven’t seen her new apartment. On Halloween, I was bent on nothing else besides getting out of Manhattan. Too many drunk amateurs. “I would go out in our neighborhood,” I suggested
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Oh Baby, It’s All About The Moon
October 29, 2018
“No, the moon ain’t romantic, it’s intimidating as hell.” — Tom Waits It wasn’t a particularly long day, though it wasn’t a particularly good one either, by my standards or yours. A regular shift. The same checklist. Things will change. Maybe for better, maybe for worse. But if there’s one thing that’s always in my
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Sometimes In The Fall
October 23, 2018
My mother thinks I insist on doing these things alone. I don’t. But when you come home on a Thursday night, knowing you have a no work on Friday, day job or comedy gigs, and you check the weather, and it’s near the end of October, but tomorrow, tomorrow the sun will shine, the temperature
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Are You Happy?
October 15, 2018
Like most kids nowadays, my nephew is spoiled. When small toys or pieces of candy are used in what’s supposed to be a rewards system, I’m unsure who is actually in control; his mother (my sister) or him. The game is appeasement is a tricky one. Who’s bribing who? Tantrums are to be expected. In
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Decor
October 10, 2018
“I bought fake spider webs to decorate my windows for Halloween.” “I cannot picture you being the type to decorate for holidays,” this is coming from one of my closest friends. “I actually love decorating.” And thus, in the middle of the night, I made a giant spider out of black card board to accompany
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Boardshorts & Butts
September 29, 2018
More than one of my brothers former girlfriends have complained to me about some obligation he was blowing off— maybe it was a BBQ her family was having or a communion or something of that nature— because he was going surfing instead. It perplexed me, always, why his girlfriends thought they were gaining something by
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Spin Cycle
September 25, 2018
It’s hard not to feel like a loser at the Laundromat. Though I’m not saying you are a loser if you go to the Laundromat, I’m just saying as you stand there, listening to music, watching the suds cycle in a machine, you’re not exactly thinking, “I’m a winner.” Because you could come from a
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A Short Blog
September 17, 2018
The days get shorter and the summer sun becomes a warm ghost of the past who kissed our skins tan. That’s how the cycle always goes. The seasons have always been bipolar. A short hiatus from mood stabilizing meds is over. The summer is the best (or safest?) time to do so. Fall will turn into winter,
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There’s A Hole On The Bottom Of My Foot
September 9, 2018
There’s a hole on the bottom of my foot. I made it. It’s where a planters wart used to be. You see, what I did was, I sat on my bed after smoking a joint with a glass of vodka soda on my nightstand. After cleaning my foot, I took a book of matches, and
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