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Sending A Crack Head Into Crack Alley
Dec 1, 2022
The Lottery
Nov 17, 2022
Pre-Travel Anxiety
Nov 7, 2022
Butt Plug Palminteri: A Major Threat To Society
Nov 4, 2022
Magic Wands
Oct 27, 2022
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Blog / News
Bugs Bite & Bug Bites
September 19, 2022
It was the last weekend of summer vacation. But not the last weekend of summer… no, not for likes of salty beach bums like us. We stretched the summer well into September, still do. I was going into either sixth or seventh grade, years that are now hard for me to differentiate. So, that last
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Fast in the Past, Past Gone Fast
September 17, 2022
Once upon a past time, I was a pretty good soccer player. Back in my youth and teen years. My super power, if I had any, was speed. Those little stick legs of mine could run quite fast. Where I was gifted in speed, I failed to ever deliver power kicks. I’m unsure my scrawny
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Professional First, Degenerate Second
September 9, 2022
I am a professional first, and a degenerate second. If I think on it, these ways of mine could be traced back as far as grade school. If I had any gift of intellectualism, it was merely the discipline to not procrastinate. For the most part, I didn’t. Annoyingly so to my siblings and some
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Skin Care
September 3, 2022
You know you’re not quite young anymore when you start having morning and evening face wash and hydrating rituals, with different cleansers and moisturizers for different times of day (or even, different times of year). I recall looking at my mom’s dresser growing up, who had all sorts of creams in different sized bottles, thinking,
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I Don’t Mind Mondays
August 21, 2022
While I love The Boomtown Rats song, “I Don’t Like Mondays,” it’s not a sentiment I can currently relate to. I literally work six days a week. Sometimes seven days a week if I have shows on a Saturday. Sure, there are days where I’m overwhelmed with how much I have to do, but quite
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A Big Thank You (for the Jeff Sesh)
August 18, 2022
I just want to take a moment to thank any family, friends and fans who donated money to the GoFundMe for the Miller family to have a surfing day at the Skudin Surf pool at American Dream. The Miller family, as many of you know, is the family I used to nanny for and they
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Butt Plugs (A Cautionary Tale)
August 8, 2022
Years ago, when I was just a fledgling comedian, I did a set for an online forum, “Comedy Time TV.” At the time, of course, I had no credits and was only like three years into comedy and was rather green. I got paid a stupid small amount of money for it and signed away
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don’t think about it
August 6, 2022
It’s a popular catch phrase from one of my fictional heroes, Rick Sanchez… “don’t think about it.” He often tells Morty, his grandson and sidekick, to not think about the consequences that occur on their adventures hopping dimensions, since Morty is prone to existential crisis. I found myself repeating the mantra as I snaked out
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Time Traveling
July 31, 2022
No, I haven’t figured it out. I’m horrible at math, remember? I think in order to invent time travel you have to be a genius at algebra and physics and basically everything I hate (numbers). Still, I’m properly obsessed with the notion. Even though I’ve read many books and watched films about time traveling and
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Lame Lifeguards
July 22, 2022
Surfers have a love/hate relationship with lifeguards. In some ways, surfers highly respect the guardians of the ocean, as many lifeguards are surfers themselves. The lifeguards at beaches like Waimea Bay in Hawaii are genuine heroes, as brave as any one, charging into deadly waters to help a distressed surfer. But no surfer is without
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