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Blog / News
P is for Pineapple
May 20, 2024
Pineapples take two to three years to grow. Which is crazy because you could plant a pineapple, have sex, get pregnant, have a kid and by the time the kid is old enough to say “pineapple,” the pineapple you planted the day you had sex to make life is ready to eat. Let me tell
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Scoot Scoot
May 11, 2024
One evening, I went for a run and got brutally murdered. In fact, we are all dead and living in a purgatory like the predictable ending of “Lost.” Just kidding. I’m pretty sure, anyway. Not about the running at night part though. Which I maybe shouldn’t do. I especially shouldn’t run at night with my
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Fantasy
May 3, 2024
One time, I was dating this younger guy and I asked him if he had any sex fantasies. He paused for a moment, thought about it and said, “um, no.” Aghast, but trying to keep my face from showing disappointment in this ho-hum answer, I pressed further. Perhaps he was being coy… “no fantasies whatsoever,
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Juxtaposing Grandfathers
April 23, 2024
In truth, I had no chance of turning out normal… none of us did. For our patriarchy was massively fucked up, for the most opposing reasons. In retrospect, there’s nothing left to do but shrug. Our identities are only somewhat carved by our ancestors. Even as kids we knew our Grandfather’s were not like most.
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What It Seems
April 21, 2024
You wake up late again, and instead of rising, you sort your dreams. Sometimes there’s half a dozen you remember, ranging from fun to frightening, or straight confusing. But perhaps the ones you hate most are the ones that mesh with reality. The ones that mimic conversations in real life, or things you should have
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Conversations with Charlotte
April 10, 2024
Charlotte, my six year old niece, is a bundle of love. Even for little girls, I scarcely met anyone sweeter. If angels are born from flawed people, Charlotte’s halo shines brighter than the ring of a lunar eclipse. When throwing a coin in a fountain, she’ll tell you she wishes that, “everyone will be safe
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Burn The Witch
April 10, 2024
“Abandon all reason Avoid all eye contact Do not react Shoot the messengers This is a low flying panic attack Sing the song of sixpence that goes… Burn the witch” — “Burn the Witch,” Radiohead It was Easter Sunday. My initial plans were no plan. And while some think a holiday without plans a lonely
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Monkey Toe Palminteri
March 26, 2024
I open up my lap top to write in a cafe next to a table of older gentlemen discussing politics. It crosses my mind to ask them if any of them are interested in foot videos. But I’m running ahead of myself here a bit, on my fast, apparently very, very sexy feet. Flashback to
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Scored
March 23, 2024
“What the fuck does ‘scoring’ mean?” I ask my sister. It’s St. Patrick’s Day. I’m referring to a text from my mom, instructions on how to make her famous corned beef, which, will be my first attempt at ever making the Irish feast. My mom makes the best corned beef, and everyone who has ever
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Somber as a Saxophone
March 12, 2024
Years ago, I went out with a jazz drummer. He was quite talented, and being the music lover I am, I fancied musicians more easily than I’d like. Though older, like me, he also looked young for his age, and he was attractive, somewhat resembling Robert Downey Jr (one time when we were out, a
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