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Blog Archives
Like Smoke
June 9, 2023
Some years ago, I was doing a comedy show and there was a fundraiser for local firefighters. Firefighter fundraisers, to be honest, can be really hit or miss. Sometimes they are great and really on board with whatever borderline offensive jokes you tell. Other times they can be rowdy, fueled by alcohol, with a sort
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Penniless. Nameless. Alone.
June 5, 2023
The notion that we don’t die alone is romantic and rather… false. Though not easy for most to accept. Sure, it would be ideal to die old and painless, holding the hand of someone who loves us, but even in such a scenario, you die alone and go into that big sleep, white light, new
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Cut You Open
May 25, 2023
My good friend, Dani, is an inspiration for more ways than one. She’s a total badass. A justice warrior and captain. Cancer survivor. World traveler. Even though we actually grew up in the same town, we didn’t know each other growing up as she graduated high school before me. We met, originally, some years ago
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Arms Reaching Out For Mom
May 19, 2023
Men are intrinsically not great with new born babies. For the most part. Because they know. The baby wants the mother. And that initial barrier, I think, makes men nervous near babies. It’s not that they don’t like them. It’s that they are worried the baby will cry. And want to be held by a
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It’s Time We Stop Letting People Use Mental Illness As An Excuse To Be A Bad Person
May 8, 2023
I don’t even feel like this blog needs to be written, but apparently like a sign that says, “no pooping in the pool,” people need stuff in writing that should be obvious. The poster asshole for this will be Kanye West. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve heard say they feel bad for
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Un Movimiento Muy Sexy
May 7, 2023
It’s a conversation I’ve been subjected to many times. The one where men talk about how men are far hornier than woman. I think it probably mostly true. Then again, I hate blanket statements. People who believe in blanket statements lack imagination and disregard the true originals out there— because they are one of the
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Hate Yourself Less
April 23, 2023
It doesn’t even take that much to hate yourself less. It’s just that pesky Doubt Demon keeps jumping in the front seat and taking the wheel. Write more. Hate yourself less. Hustle. Work. Hate yourself less. But don’t sacrifice your social life too much. No one ever said this was going to be easy. You’re
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My Friend’s Parents
April 17, 2023
When my best friend Lauren graduated with her degree in Pharmacy, her parents threw a big backyard party. At this point, we were all legally allowed to drink, so my group of friends often partied with our parents. The older I get, the more I realize just how special my childhood friendships were and are—
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No Small Miracle
April 11, 2023
I had felt pretty good about myself that day, the day before St Patrick’s Day, after a successful date. Still got it, I said to myself. But upon deploying the subway, I opened a text from my mom and the world spun upside down. My uncle had a heart attack. And without spilling all the
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Fuck! Marry! Hug!
April 3, 2023
It’s time for Fuck! Marry! Kill! Ted Lasso edition! But I can’t kill any of the Lasso characters, so I’ll hug them instead. Here we go… FUCK! Dani Rojas: If I dated Dani, his optimism and my realism would ultimately clash. But he is adorable and has too much energy. And clearly a good time.
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