@loripalminteriTweets by @loripalminteri
I Can See A Better Time, When All Our Dreams Come True
It is literally the darkest time of the year. That Winter Solstice, the Pagan holiday, in which all our silly holidays are based. But make no mistake here, I’m not knocking something for being silly. In fact, I love things that are silly. Life shouldn’t be so serious all the time. Whether or not we laugh at ourselves, situations, and those around us, won’t necessarily prevent us from insanity, but it will make our short time on the blue planet more worthwhile.
To be as transparent as clear gift wrap, I’ve not the slightest idea what to write about this week. It would be apropos to do some sort of “this year in review” end of the year/holiday type newsletter. One in which I outline the highlights, the hardships, and hopes I have for the coming new year. There’s always highlights, hardships and hopes. The hope being that the highlights outweigh the hardships.
It feels ungrateful to harp on heartache when others have experienced heavier loss. It feels selfish not to acknowledge that I am so happy I have a tremendous support system in friends, family, peers. It feels unnecessarily pessimistic to resign the future to failure when there is still logical and real reasons why that very well might not be so.
More than not the year goes by fast, and as time ticks on, faster and faster. If it was a hard year, then it’s best to look forward, not just hope the new year will be better, but implement ways that it will be: whether that’s working harder on a passion project, taking a trip to a destination you dream about, or spending time with people you really love.
I was sitting in a café editing a screenplay while on the road like a cliché. A family, or what I assumed was a family, came in. A husband/wife, their young son, and two older gentleman. The kid was cute when in awe of the pastry display, eyes wide, mouth watering at the sight of cakes and cookies. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have the same reaction.
My headphones were in but I did not have my usual film scores playing for when I edit, nor was it my aim to eavesdrop (sometimes I’ll have headphones in to mask that I’m eavesdropping). It was just that I was enjoying the music the café was playing: Modest Mouse, The Shins… some of my favorites. So I had not turned my music on.
But I found myself listening to the conversation happening just a few small tables away from me. One of the older men had just experienced some sort of near death situation. My guess would be a heart attack or a stroke, though I’d be completely speculating here. In the most sincere and heavy, yet not quite melancholy manner, he said, “and what it teaches you is that there aren’t as many true friendships and truly dear loved ones in your life– how few people are really so special to me and matter, that all I ever really wanted was to spend as much time with them as possible.”
And he smiled at them, not me, the people he was with. I had hoped they were the same people he was referring to as the special people he wanted to be near. There was no confusion in his face. Whatever happened to him gave him the gift of clarity, even if it was a real reminder that he’s a lot closer to the end than the beginning.
It is true, you know. That best gift you could give someone you truly love is your time. Yes, sometimes, during the holidays it’s hard to make that so because it’s so busy, and often more expensive and a hassle to travel. But you don’t have to give your gift of time at the end of the year if life doesn’t allow. We have 365 days a year to do that. Don’t let 2019 slip by without spending your time wisely and gifting it to the wrong people. Spend 2019 renewing reasons and reminders that the world is full of beauties and wonder, despite suffering.
Here’s to you. And here’s to me. It may be a child’s fantasy to believe life will get better or happier, but embrace that time when it is happy, and smile big, and laugh hard.