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Interview
February 16, 2018
Usually, I’m horrible in interviews. I can’t believe I manage to land any jobs at all based on my interviewing skills (or lack thereof). Despite being able to perform on stage in front of hundreds with ease, being social with strangers, especially in a situation where I have to “sell myself” gives me terrible anxiety.
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When I Meet You
February 10, 2018
When I meet you the whole world will stop. All the thoughts in my head, those never ending loops, they will cease. There will just be you. And I will fall in love when I meet you. I know this before even meeting you, because it’s happened before when I met your brother. How, suddenly,
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Shiver Attack
February 3, 2018
It was my brother who was describing how he was just in the throes of a shiver attack. My cousin, an ER nurse, stared at him wide eyed. “A shiver attack? That’s not a thing. You mean shivering?” “No,” my brother says, “there’s shivering, and then there’s a shiver attack.” “You’re making this up,” my
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What’s The Use In Talking
January 26, 2018
What’s The Use In Talking. It was my great grandfather’s saying. “What’s the use in talking.” While he is someone I would never meet, perhaps he is someone I have much in common with. Growing up, my Dad recited his mantra frequently, “what’s the use in talking.” That could be the log line of my
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N, N-DIMETHYLTRYPTAMINE/AM I A BABY
January 21, 2018
Ask yourself a hard question. Ask yourself: Do I Want To See What My Soul Looks Like? Don’t tell me. I don’t give a shit either way. But have you ever really considered it. I mean, really really thought about it. Have you considered that, without a body, how would you recognize yourself, without your
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Movies That Made Me Cry
January 11, 2018
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) There seems to be some debate about how great this movie is, but it was easily one of my favorites of 2017. The writer/director Martin McDonagh is definitely heavily influenced by two of my favorite directors, the Coen brothers. I mean, Francis McDormand is the lead (and she fucking
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1000 Words
January 5, 2018
A picture is worth a thousand words. We have heard it a thousand times. It is true, sometimes, that a picture conveys a message better than the word. Especially when I see pictures of war zones, or people born into countries that aren’t as privileged as the United States. These photographs of such tragedy slay
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Bad Habits
December 29, 2017
“Feel like a brand new person (But you make the same old mistakes) I finally know what is love (You don’t have what it takes) (Stop while it’s not too late) (I know there’s too much at stake) (Making the same mistakes) And I still don’t know why it’s happening (Stop before it’s too late)”
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To All My Friends
December 22, 2017
Now, I realize my blogs can be quite deplorable tonally. As well as my twitter jokes. And my stand-up. And just being around me in general (I was once out with my friend/comic Michael Somerville and his friend. His friend whom I just met asked me, “what is your stand-up about?” And without missing a
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What’s His Name
December 15, 2017
Sometime early 2016, I went on three dates with a guy and never learned his name. That sentence is both ridiculous and hilarious, but also, sadly true. Allow me to explain. We “met” on Bumble. Bumble, for those lucky enough to have never online dated, is your basic swipe left for no, swipe right for
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