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An Open Letter To My Mother
July 8, 2018
Author’s Note: My Mom and I write each other letters like it’s the 1800’s. To anyone I feel closest to, or that I feel I can trust, I find writing to be my more intimate form of communication. This is intended for my Mother, but not solely. However, if there is something in here that
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Soft Shoulder
July 1, 2018
I’m goofy. Not just in the ridiculous sense, which is also true. But I’m a goofy footed surfer. This means, simply, that I surf with my right foot forward. Left foot forward is considered “regular.” It’s more common, and I guess, more natural for people to surf (and skate) with their left foot first. If
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At Worst/At Best
June 27, 2018
I will never forget the first day I tried stand-up comedy. Mostly because it was also the day Michael Jackson died. It does feel like a long time ago now, nine years ago; only 20 years old, a college student with a strong love for creating and language. Comedy, in particular. Not simply because I
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Vows
June 18, 2018
In what most consider an unlikely turn of events, I officiated a wedding. Comedian friends especially mocked this, given have an “anti-marriage” chunk, followed by a “why you should never have kids” chunk, all with clever punch lines and salient points. I stand accused of not respecting marriage, which isn’t really the whole truth. While
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The Ladies Restroom
June 9, 2018
Three years ago I was using a restroom in Universal Studios/Island of Adventure Park. My parents had just moved to Florida, and so, we went there with my cousin because we’re all kind of nerdy and we enjoy and appreciate a fun action ride based on films. Anyway, after relieving myself, I go to wash
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When You Don’t Want To Be High
June 2, 2018
What a ridiculous title. Being high is the best! Except when it’s really, really not. Because sometimes life throws shit at you while you’re in the midst of being seriously fucked up. This has happened to me many times, albeit, some I don’t remember so well because I was seriously fucked up. But most recently
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No Ice Caves For The Ice Queen
May 27, 2018
Half of the point of coming to Sam’s Point was to see the Ice Caves. The name sounds cool in itself. It stays cool enough there so the ice remains well into spring/early summer. But the ice caves were closed off. Of course, I planned to go to them anyway. I’m no thief, but I’m
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May 16, 2019
May 20, 2018
This blog is written by 29 year old Lori. And if you’re not Lori, in the future, you can go ahead and skip this blog. Seriously. Or read it. It’s just the same to me. . . . . . You’re still here? Are you pooping? Don’t answer that. ______________________________________ On the eve of
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Valuable
May 13, 2018
To be very clear, money is not the root of all evil. Actually, money has greatly improved humans as a species, as we can settle on a currency of worth and therefore minimize primal strength as a means of power. Money allows power and as the Flaming Lips sang, “you cannot know yourself and what
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Cracked
May 6, 2018
As kids, we had an abundant amount of energy. We were fortunate to have a decent sized backyard, with friends on our block. In all the warmer months we’d be running amuck, usually without shoes. It had been my firm belief back then that it was both better and more efficient to climb trees with
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