don’t think about it

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• August 6, 2022

It’s a popular catch phrase from one of my fictional heroes, Rick Sanchez… “don’t think about it.” He often tells Morty, his grandson and sidekick, to not think about the consequences that occur on their adventures hopping dimensions, since Morty is prone to existential crisis.

I found myself repeating the mantra as I snaked out the drain in my bathroom tub. I do this like twice a year. Technically, I could ask the family that owns the house to unclog it, but if I can fix something myself, I just do it. Also, it’s my fault. Mostly, my long hair. And some sand from the beach.

Unclogging a drain is disgusting. My once beautiful blond locks turned into a black goo. It’s so gross. Holding my breath, I pull the ink colored slime combined hairballs out of the drain. “Don’t think about it,” I say to myself. Just pull a few levers in my brain.

If you’ve ever tripped on psychedelics, you know that using a public bathroom can be a daunting experience. Even a nice one. But nothing is worse than being in the height of a trip and having to use a porter potty. Of course, a porter potty isn’t ideal for a sober person. Now imagine the walls melting with all your senses heightened. Don’t think about it.

Have to get blood taken? Don’t think about it. When you’re jogging and it’s really fucking hot? Don’t think about it. When you’ve sent an important email and you want a response? Don’t think about it. When you have a pimple and you think that’s all anyone will look at when they see you? Don’t think about it. When something reminds you of an ex? Don’t think about it. When you’re worried about the future? Don’t think about it.

I found myself giving this advice to two young girls, a friend of mine’s kids. But not in the vain of distracting from something distressing. We were at the beach and the girls had boogie boards and were trying to catch the waves. The waves were small and good for kids to learn how to catch them. The water was so clear and blue. You could see several feet down. Even underwater, you could open your eyes and see all around you. I helped them go out a little further, where they could catch the wave as it was breaking. They were a little nervous at first, but it was shallow. I instructed them to move their bodies higher on the board. And when a wave was coming, I could tell they were a little scared. “I’m going to push you into it. And just go. Don’t think about it.” Underwater, I pushed their boards and they caught wave after wave after that. All smiles. Eventually, they didn’t need my extra boost. They caught the waves all by themselves. Not even thinking about it.