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Lily
May 14, 2017
It is unjust to blame my macabre mind on being an employee at a nursing home for four years. Going in I was already a cynical, Poe-obssesed and pensive person. Of course as I got older I’d grow more calloused, mistrusting, and realism would spill over into pessimism. Of course with being distant I’d grow
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Volume Control
May 7, 2017
At 18, I bought my first car. A 2001 silver Nissan Altima, with cigarette burns on the seats, and I bought it, cash, with all the money I had made from being a child laborer (seriously, I had jobs that broke child labor laws for years). I couldn’t be more thrilled. I loved that car
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Mumbling Me
April 30, 2017
Phone calls were always screened at our house growing up. No one ever jumped for the ringing phone. I think my sheer contempt for the sound of the ring started then. I couldn’t stand it. There weren’t many times I was expecting or anticipating calls. It was just an interruption. I’m unsure what I was
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It Doesn’t Get Better
April 15, 2017
There are some memories I’ve replayed so many times, I’m sure it’s not the memory I remember at all, it’s more like remembering a reflection of it. A memory of a memory. The minds eye playing the motion picture of your life. The images stored in our heads will suffice as truth, a truth told
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Feisty Character
April 8, 2017
On an episode of Planet Earth, there’s a rather violent scene of sea lions tearing out the throats of penguins. I simply cannot get enough of watching this horrifically beautiful display of the cruelty of nature and the circle of life. Despite having watched it before, and grimacing the first time, I watch, captivated, wincing
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Under The Hell Gate Bridge
March 31, 2017
Fate is something I do not believe in. It is my firm belief that there is nothing supernatural, nor is there any driving force behind anything that happens. What people call fate is just the decisions you make plus time. Yet sometimes, yes, sometimes, things seem all together too perfect. Or even familiar. A path
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Withdrawal
March 25, 2017
It’s not all that uncommon for me to feel nauseous, with a pretty stringent healthy diet, and a neurotic sensibility, I made easily queasy. So, at first, I chalked it up to something I ate. Ok, fine. It’ll be alright in the morning. But the following morning, I felt hung over. Again, not all that
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So Good At Being Uncomfortable
March 18, 2017
Discomfort. My default state. I used to think being agoraphobic meant you’re insane, but lately I think agoraphobia is just a sign of intelligence. Maybe it’s the fact that my legs never stop moving, or the quizzical look in my eye, but people frequently ask me if I’m okay. Friends, comics, acquaintances, people who work
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One Hour
March 14, 2017
The list of things people say that make me want to punch them in the face is growing at an alarming rate. At this point, I’m genuinely surprised I’m able to contain high levels of rage in my petite body and haven’t punched anyone in the face. When I go home at night, I’m genuinely
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