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Snobby, Bitch. Quiet, Weirdo.
March 18, 2018
One of my closest friends in comedy confessed that when he first met me he thought I was a snob and kind of a bitch. We first met at a sort of comic gathering at the Beer Garden in Astoria. He is a super friendly guy and no one would ever describe me as super
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YAHTZEE!
March 9, 2018
Our family reunions are filled with sarcastic comments, jabs, a few debates and a couple of arguments. Also, board games! My family has always been a board game playing family. This may seem like wholesome family fun, but I assure you, our board game playing has never mirrored the commercials they put on TV. We
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Señor B
March 3, 2018
It was in my sophomore year of high school when I had Señor B for Spanish class. I was quite thrilled about this class — not because I liked Spanish, because I hated it. Because I was bad at it. This would be the year I took the Spanish regents and then I would never
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Plane Passenger
February 28, 2018
While it is both my specialty and joy to write about the characters who are insane, annoying, deplorable yet human— and everyone, I mean everyone, has been subjected to sitting next to a human you wouldn’t even want to know existed, let alone have to sit next to them on a flight. But, alas, most
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Interview
February 16, 2018
Usually, I’m horrible in interviews. I can’t believe I manage to land any jobs at all based on my interviewing skills (or lack thereof). Despite being able to perform on stage in front of hundreds with ease, being social with strangers, especially in a situation where I have to “sell myself” gives me terrible anxiety.
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When I Meet You
February 10, 2018
When I meet you the whole world will stop. All the thoughts in my head, those never ending loops, they will cease. There will just be you. And I will fall in love when I meet you. I know this before even meeting you, because it’s happened before when I met your brother. How, suddenly,
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Shiver Attack
February 3, 2018
It was my brother who was describing how he was just in the throes of a shiver attack. My cousin, an ER nurse, stared at him wide eyed. “A shiver attack? That’s not a thing. You mean shivering?” “No,” my brother says, “there’s shivering, and then there’s a shiver attack.” “You’re making this up,” my
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What’s The Use In Talking
January 26, 2018
What’s The Use In Talking. It was my great grandfather’s saying. “What’s the use in talking.” While he is someone I would never meet, perhaps he is someone I have much in common with. Growing up, my Dad recited his mantra frequently, “what’s the use in talking.” That could be the log line of my
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N, N-DIMETHYLTRYPTAMINE/AM I A BABY
January 21, 2018
Ask yourself a hard question. Ask yourself: Do I Want To See What My Soul Looks Like? Don’t tell me. I don’t give a shit either way. But have you ever really considered it. I mean, really really thought about it. Have you considered that, without a body, how would you recognize yourself, without your
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Movies That Made Me Cry
January 11, 2018
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) There seems to be some debate about how great this movie is, but it was easily one of my favorites of 2017. The writer/director Martin McDonagh is definitely heavily influenced by two of my favorite directors, the Coen brothers. I mean, Francis McDormand is the lead (and she fucking
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