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There’s A Hole On The Bottom Of My Foot
September 9, 2018
There’s a hole on the bottom of my foot. I made it. It’s where a planters wart used to be. You see, what I did was, I sat on my bed after smoking a joint with a glass of vodka soda on my nightstand. After cleaning my foot, I took a book of matches, and
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AC (Part III)
September 1, 2018
Dear Blog Readers, Welcome to the third part of this road journal. If you haven’t read the first two parts, don’t even trip, dawg. My blogs are more episodic than serialized anyway. Day 4 In the morning, I discovered there were desserts in my mini fridge. An egg claire and tiramisu cups. Not your typical,
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AC (Part II)
August 29, 2018
Dear Blog Readers, You came back! Was it because the first part of this road journal was so well written and interesting that you were waiting for part II or are you just currently really bored/on the toilet? Don’t answer that. I’m glad you’re here no matter what! The road diary continues… Day 2 In
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AC (Part I)
August 27, 2018
Dear Blog Readers, Welcome back! I can’t believe you’re here! No, really, I can’t believe anyone reads this at all (besides my mom). I didn’t really know what to write about this week, and the blog I had on the back burner was kind of a bummer (though aren’t they all? “Lori’s Blog: Kind of
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What Condition My Condition Was In
August 21, 2018
The forecast predicted clouds for most of the northeast, much to my dismay. It was the weekend of the Perseids meteor shower, something most people don’t give a shit about, but it always excites me. Plus, it’s been three years since we’ve had clear skies for Perseids. But when we did, I went to the
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Goldfish
August 12, 2018
3am. Tuesday morning. I’ve been home for three hours, asleep for two. My phone rings, and actually, it happens to be a night it’s both on and not on silent. Often, I turn my phone off at night. It’s my brother, Mitch. “I’m in the hospital, I think I got hit by a car, I
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Weekend Warrior
August 4, 2018
It’s not even 8am on a Friday morning, and like a homeless crack head, I’m curled on a blanket at Gilgo beach trying to make up for not sleeping at all the night before. My hands and feet are blue from my Raynuad’s disease and just getting out of the ocean, as I lay fetal
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Plans
July 29, 2018
Suicide is such an ugly word. After Anthony Bourdain’s suicide, it just seemed to be the thing everyone brought up, maybe especially around me because I’ve earned a bit of a reputation as a self proclaimed mental health advocate (and/or just someone who is mental). Even more so because my social life is basically comedy
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A Postcard From The Beach
July 22, 2018
“It’s nice to see a healthy young person reading a book,” a middle-aged man said, with a plump belly, his wife seated in the beach chair next to him, with the same body type. “And really enjoying it!” He added, which was true, I was reading David Sedaris’s latest, Calypso, and he’s one of the
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Dine With Me
July 14, 2018
More than not, I dine alone. This doesn’t usually upset me because I like to people watch, eavesdrop, and usually I get a free dessert because the servers feel bad for me. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love company from time to time! Especially highly interesting people. Here’s a short list of (living) people
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