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Unplugged, Unhinged
May 13, 2019
It really bothers that when my car was robbed I was probably awake and staring at the ceiling. I was awake staring at the ceiling till sometime after 4am, having just taken my 3rd valium of the evening. The first valium I took at midnight, which I thought would do the trick. If only I
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Whippet Good!
May 7, 2019
The first time I did a whippet I was 28 years old and tripping on acid. What a ridiculous sentence. It’s hard to believe that in all those years I worked in restaurants I never did a whippet until I was 28. We spent most of the day in the sun at the park. Soaking
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Enjoy.
May 2, 2019
“Who’s sunglasses are those?” “They’re mine,” my brother, Mitch, replied as we meet outside the airport in Florida, waiting for our parents to pick us up, “I just bought them.” “They’re girl sunglasses.” “No they’re not. I just bought them.” “Yeah. But they’re definitely girl sunglasses.” “How can you tell?” “The way they go up
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This Blog Is Pointless
April 20, 2019
This blog is utterly pointless. You should close it all together and do something else. Unless that something else is mindlessly scrolling through your Facebook feed. In that case, you might as well stay here with me. It’s probably better than your Facebook feed and I don’t say that with the confidence that this
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Dialogue
April 16, 2019
The word “schizoid” was first introduced into my vocabulary when I was in high school by a friend of mine who was in college and majoring in psychology at the time. Like anyone, if you’ve never heard of the word before, the immediate response would be to associate it with schizophrenia. Which, of course, is
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Play Time & Worry Time
April 6, 2019
“What did you do all day?” Fellow comedian, Pat Brown, asked in the green room of the music box theater in the Borgata on our fifth night. “I worked out. Did some writing and reading.” “You didn’t do anything you like to do?” “I like to work out, write and read.” “Sure. But that’s not
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Victoria
March 31, 2019
For reasons I’m not even really sure (I’m sure the reason is that I mumble), I’d been dealing with a guest/client at work all week who continued to call me ‘Victoria,’ both on the phone and via email. It was strange to me though, given ‘Victoria’ is two more syllables than ‘Lori.’ Nonetheless, my level
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This Is Not About You. Also, This Is Definitely About You.
March 22, 2019
Upon returning from Costa Rica with my badly bruised yet bronze tanned body, I stood in line at La Guardia airport for a taxi, a quick ride to my home in Astoria. It was Valentine’s Day. Not that it being Valentine’s Day ever meant anything to me besides a landmark that there was still a
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Where’d All The Time Go
March 17, 2019
For almost all of my gigs, if a friend or family member expressed interest to come along, my facial expression would resemble having a sip of a drink someone told you to try that is just god awful tasting and you’re wondering if there is something off in your chemical makeup that it taste this
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What I Can’t Teach You
March 10, 2019
Plenty of people have asked me, as I’m sure they’ve asked you, what my type is. Especially if you’re a single soon to be 30 year old female, your dating life is fascinating to other people. The answer will come easily to me, and I would give you the same answer I did since I
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