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Wash Your Hands. Make Your Mom Proud.
February 26, 2020
“Wash, wash, wash your hands, make your mom proud,” the TV sang in the tiny cabin my brother and I would be sharing for the next four days. It was my first time on a cruise, and also my first time staying in a hotel room smaller than my studio apartment. The song playing on
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Too Much Jaw
February 11, 2020
TMJ does not stand for “too much jaw.” Despite the fact that I have confidently told people that and they’ve believed me. Saying silly nonsense to people is one of the traits I inherited from my Dad (as did my brother). My dad’s twin sister still falls prey to his bullshit, even after over 60
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I Just Got Here… And WTF??!!
February 7, 2020
Sometimes, I like to play this game. The game goes like this: an Alien has just arrived from another dimension. It finds me as a companion and a source for information– because of it’s higher intelligence, it already knows that I’ve seen glimpses of another side, so I won’t (completely) freak out, and also it
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An Open Letter Of Apology To My Neighborhood Opossum
January 30, 2020
Lyme disease is one of the fastest growing infectious diseases and is considered by the CDC an “emerging epidemic.” Hysteria? Maybe. But if there’s any type of hysteria I buy into, it’s usually some sort of disease. Infection and illness being my top fear. Lyme disease is a special issue because it’s extremely hard to
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Sick
January 20, 2020
Like most mornings, I woke up tired but unlike more recent mornings felt motivated. Since it was going to be a shit snow Saturday, I decided I would drive to my best friend Jimmy’s house to be snowed and watch some movies, do some writing, and then run errands, more writing and gigs on Sunday.
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Bring Home The Bacon (In The Future)
January 16, 2020
About a month ago or so, the emcee of the show I was doing introduced me and I took the stage, for what would be a good set and a reminder of why I love comedy so much and am sticking to it, despite fears of impending doom. People who’ve never done performance art might
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Just Call Me Angel
January 6, 2020
It’s a big house, and quite lovely, the new Floridian home of our adopted Aunt/Fairy Godmother, with a kitchen that looks like it could be the set of a cooking show. This was early 2019, when my sister still lived down in Florida, before she’d move back North with her family. Her kids, my nephew
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The Roaring 20’s
January 1, 2020
For the end of 2019, I was invited to two Roaring 20’s parties, neither of which I went to, not because they are a themed party, but that’s sure not to help. I suspect a lot of people romanticize the 20’s for the same reason people think Long Islander’s are drunk drivers… because of F.
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The Days Get Lighter
December 28, 2019
Yet again, we survived the darkest days of the year— in the literal sense (if you’re reading this, I assume you’re not dead, if you are dead and reading this, DM me, I’ve got a lot of questions) with the help of song, colorful lights, cups of tea and eating cookies while watching cartoons in
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The Real Little Mermaid Kills Herself
December 18, 2019
Slowly but surely, I’m learning the importance of titles, and how they’re the initial hook for your story. This title is a spoiler. But if you didn’t know the original ending to “The Little Mermaid,” first published in 1831,that’s on you. Most original Disney movies are based on old fairy tales, that are usually extremely
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