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Sorry Your Family Isn’t Cool
December 22, 2022
“I remember dreaming Wishing, hoping, praying for this day Now we sit and watch them The little ones I love So excited by the wait” — Christmastime, by the Smashing Pumpkins While many people who know me would accuse me of being an ice queen, a real life Wednesday Addams, socially autistic and a Debbie
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Beware, The Chocolate Fountain
December 9, 2022
We had our annual holiday tradition of my mom’s side of the family gathering early this year. Some people are not a fan of Christmas and I assume it’s because they don’t like their family. Seeing my kin is one of the many reasons, if not the top reason, I love the season. While our
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So I Dated A Sociopath
December 2, 2022
“The saddest thing about love is that not only that it cannot last forever, but that heartbreak is soon forgotten.” – William Faulkner It’s strange tale, and I’ll tell it true with everything I still know… which no longer feels like much. This is not a love story. This does not have a happy ending.
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Sending A Crack Head Into Crack Alley
December 1, 2022
Before I took off on my adventure to the city of light and love, one of my dearest friends requested I bring her some French macarons from their place of origin. I said this wouldn’t be a problem, though I quickly found it would be. No, not because French macarons were hard to come by
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The Lottery
November 17, 2022
Confused, self medicated and groggy, my eyelids barely open and for a moment I’m lost. Where am I? Am I on a train? How did I get here? The befuddlement passes and I remember, oh yeah— I’m on a plane, heading for Paris. Anytime the lottery gets really high, my sister reminds me to get
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Pre-Travel Anxiety
November 7, 2022
While travel gives my life pleasure, experience and in increased sense of purpose, I’m never without some concern before a trip. And, usually, this concern is financial. As I anticipate my next adventure, the city of love and prized by American literally heroes— Paris— I find myself facing known anxieties. It’s true I’m not so
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Butt Plug Palminteri: A Major Threat To Society
November 4, 2022
In a previous blog I shared how someone used one of my stand up clips and titled it “Butt Plugs” despite the fact that don’t even mention butt plugs in the set, nor I have ever said the term “butt plugs” into a microphone, ever. In just 3 days, the clip got over 100,000 views,
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Magic Wands
October 27, 2022
A magic wand (I hope that every woman knows and has one) is a female pleasuring device that isn’t actually magic but might as well be. Some years ago, I had broken my magic wand. No, I will not be taking questions at this time. And so, I decided to write the manufacturer. In my
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Tall Order
October 26, 2022
While being a late blooming runt caused strife throughout my youth, there was no time I hated it more than going to an amusement park and being denied entry to big rides. You might as well have cut out my heart. Of course, on some level I understood it was not because I would be
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Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws
October 22, 2022
“Kidnap the Sandy Claws Lock him up real tight Throw away the key and then Turn off all the lights” —Nightmare Before Christmas It’s no secret that “The Nightmare Before Christmas” was one of my favorite childhood movies. Which, in retrospect, is mildly unnerving. Every year, I re-watch it and go, “wow this is weird
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